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I think my homophobic straight friend likes me…..

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doezknotz Bracelet King	5 months, 2 weeks ago by doezknotz Ok so this is a lot so BE PREPARED! Ok so my friend is straight. She’s homophobic and she told me the only reason she wants to go to school is to see me. She told me I was the best person in the world. she is ALWAYS texting me! Like it’s getting annoying! She is always holding my hand, and calling me bestie. But also, both she and I have never been in a relationship (of any gender) and the idea of my friend having a crush on me and I don’t like her back it makes me feel bad. Because at our school, I’m the only queer person (that I know of! Although some other girl REALLY triggers my gaydar…..) anyways idk. I’m really starting to stress over this for her. Like her parents are a LOT less accepting than mine are, not that mine are accepting, but if she ends up being queer, I feel so bad for her! But also I think I’m on the aromantic spectrum. Like I want to be in a relationship, but I’ve never really had a crush on anyone, of any gender. The only reason I knew I was a lesbian was because of Sabrina carpenter, not a real person. Also I don’t even know I’m a lesbian! I think I’ve had crushes on men before, but I can’t see us dating or anything. I can only see me dating a girl. Idk! Please help! lol that was a lot, have a good day!
doezknotz Bracelet King	5 months, 2 weeks ago by doezknotz And I don’t think I like her back! I can’t rember if I said that
doezknotz Bracelet King	5 months, 2 weeks ago by doezknotz Btw when I was talking about Sabrina carpenter, I meant she’s a real person, but I’ll never meet her.
Cow28 Bracelet King	5 months, 2 weeks ago by Cow28 That must be really weird for you and I’m sorry you feel that way. I also have zero experience so this probably isn’t the best answer but I’ll give it a shot. I’d recommend taking baby steps like mentioning gay stuff and being gay from a neutral standpoint not really saying it’s a good thing or a bad thing, then see how it goes and ease into it? She may not feel that way about you even though it definitely sounds like it. If it becomes too uncomfortable for you I’d talk to her about it leaving out the parts about crushes and telling her she is being too much. Also I can totally relate to how you feel with sexuality it’s very confusing but I’d recommend just being a person and if you happen to find out your sexuality on the way, great but if you don’t yet that’s fine too. Like I said before I really don’t know what I’m talking about but I hope this helps a bit. 😊
Cow28 Bracelet King	5 months, 2 weeks ago by Cow28 And you could be bisexual and just homoromantic or just be bi and have a preference for girls 🤷

doezknotz Bracelet King	5 months, 1 week ago by doezknotz @Cow28 Thank you! This helps so much!
kpn Bracelet King	5 months, 1 week ago by kpn If you're right, that's rough, man. I've been on the other side of that and I promise it's no fun and I felt like such a terrible person. If she does like you, she may not be thrilled about it. After all, realizing that you're crushing on a friend can be so frustrating. HOWEVER, don't forget the other end of it. You mean the world to her, you know that? Even if it isn't romantic, you still make her so, so happy and I can see that just from the way you talked about how she is around you. When I realized I kind of liked a friend (still in the thick of it honestly, it goes up and down she just made me so much happier. We were already closer than I was with anyone else in my life after such a short time. I knew all along that she was something of a soulmate, someone I really, really needed in my life. She still makes me so happy and I don't know where I'd be without her. I'm trying to get rid of it, and I'd say I'm getting closer, maybe? I say all of that because I want to explain what your friend may be feeling. She could be having a really difficult time right now, and you seem to be the closest one to her. No matter her romantic identity, she clearly needs you. If she's homophobic, you should obviously try to work on that. Homophobia is not something to be put up with and if she says something homophobic, don't just let it go. On the other hand, you also can't just hope or assume that she likes you. Lots of people have deep loving platonic relationships as you described and loving someone through physical touch isn't inherently romantic. It doesn't have to be romantic for you to be in love with someone, and that could be what happened with her. Don't play with her feelings and try to make her stop being affectionate to you, that will only strain her and your relationship. Just try to love her well and be the best friend you can to her as she depends on you, because I guarantee that's exactly what she needs. If you're able to come out to her, take that opportunity to be tell her. When you're honest with her, she'll want to be honest with you. If she continues to make you uncomfortable in any way, there's nothing wrong with asking her to please stop. If you don't like her holding your hand, it's alright to let go and tell her nicely that you'd rather not. She won't be angry at you for setting boundaries in your friendship. Don't shut her out completely, of course, but don't let her do things you don't like either. If it's proven to be totally platonic, enjoy it! A deep friendship like yours is the best thing in the world and it shouldn't be let go of. You could also try writing a letter to her? Idk, sometimes thoughts are easiest to get out on paper where you can fix what you don't like. Overall, be nice to this girl and don't push her away, but set healthy boundaries for both of you that outline what makes you uncomfortable or happy and try to enforce them. Don't keep yourself in a friendship that doesn't make you happy without talking it out with her. She doesn't want you to be uncomfortable, and it's very likely that she has something hard going on right now and needs somebody close to her to depend on. You can't make her come out if she's really straight, but you can continue to be her safe place. If (there's my ted talk, I'm no expert)
doezknotz Bracelet King	5 months, 1 week ago by doezknotz @kpn wow. That was a lot. Thank you! It means a lot ❤️
Cirivere Bracelet King	5 months, 1 week ago by Cirivere I mostly just want to say: You are only just the age where you start to question and explore attraction and sexuality. Don't stress too much about defining who you are and try to follow what feels good. Also I thought I was ace until I hit like 15, turns out I was just a late bloomer and BAM, big bisexual awakening, Of course you can still be aromantic, asexual or demisexual and have a preference to women. Sexuality and gender is a spectrum and you can have certain nuances/preferences. I'm sure you will eventually figure out what defines you and don't be afraid to try labels / things you thing might be applicable to you, even if it later might chance as you discover who you are. As for your friend, I get she is your friend and cares a lot about you, but homophobia isn't ok. don't be afraid to say when a remark made by her makes you uncomfortable. It could also be internalized homophobia, as you said, if her parents are less accepting she may have learned it from them + fear what might happen if she is queer.
kpn Bracelet King	5 months, 1 week ago by kpn @doezknotz i'm so glad i could help 🩵

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