Is this dysphoria maybe? Idk.
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fruity
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2 years, 9 months ago by fruity
she/her/they :] i have no clue what my gender is that’s a wholeee other topic :}Idk wether this is me venting, asking for help, or a mix- What are ways to look less of a girly girl? Currently most of my clothes are womens clothes, but if I’m creative I can make it look good, I mostly wear jeans and black shorts that I wear with band logo t-shirts and I have one mens button up that i love. I’m not allowed to shop in the mens section. I don’t shave my legs and I’m barely getting by w/ out my mom commenting on it saying I’m not taking care of my hygiene well enough. And I just ran out of my mens deodorant that my mentor bought me, and so my mom had to buy me some and she wouldn’t let me get mens so now I have some coconut perfumey one that I hate. I’m trying to get some like rings and chains and stuff for my birthday in a few weeks, that seems like something she will actually do tho. and I’m not willing to wear makeup. My hair is my biggest issue, it was cut just above my shoulders back in the end of December and I’m not allowed to get it cut again for a while because everyone likes it long. Does anyone have tips if you get dysphoria from long hair? I’m getting it colored in a few weeks so hopefully that will help but it’s growing out again it’s almost to my armpit :[ having to wash it and brush it and yk take care of my hair so I don’t look homeless, it’s just a constant reminder that how i want to look, isn’t good enough for her. |
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CALInature
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2 years, 9 months ago by CALInature
Just be yourself and be who you want to be and try to talk to her maybe
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fruity
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2 years, 9 months ago by fruity
Yeah I tried talking to her, it didn’t help. And idrk how to be myself when I can’t buy clothes to look how I want :/
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fruity
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2 years, 9 months ago by fruity
@CALInature ^
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CALInature
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2 years, 9 months ago by CALInature
Maybe just start hanging out with people that are more like you and she will see and might think that that is rlly the way that you want to be. I have never gone through anything like this other than one thing with the “cool kids” being rude abt the way that I dress but ya (I am kinda indie/kid core and the “cool kids” don’t approve of that) hope that it works out
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spleevy
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2 years, 9 months ago by spleevy
I can see how this is a tough situation. maybe you could ask your mom to go shopping only with your friends and you can go look in the mens section? if she asks, sometimes just labeling the clothing that you found it in the womens section will satisfy her lol. If your friends look at you weirdly, who cares? you most likely won’t see them after grade school anyways. I know PacSun has a unisex section which could ‘sound’ better to her. it sucks your mom feels this way about something as simple as clothing. as far as hair goes, find a hairstyle you can wear up that you like. you can make top knot buns any gender you want in my opinion. maybe as a birthday or Christmas (if you celebrate it) you could ask to cut your hair and that be your only wish? hope this helps, you can always reach out to me for someone to talk to
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mrs_jordan
Bracelet King
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2 years, 9 months ago by mrs_jordan
Not sure how old you are, but I would sit down with your mom and talk to her about how you are questioning your gender. Maybe seeking therapy will help. I am by no means saying what you are feeling is not valid, but therapy can give you a different perspective on things and give you advice on how to talk to your mom. They can even be a mediator for a conversation between you and your mom. When I was a teen, my mom and I struggled a lot with communication and therapy helped. Just an idea. Hang in there!
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panflager2
Bracelet King
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2 years, 9 months ago by panflager2
well as for clothes, i saw this thing where it says if ur trying to maintain like androgynous and shi, to take "feminine" patterns, so like soft patterns like strawberries, polkadots, floral patterns stuff that are normally associated with females, and try to find it in like a "male" clothing item, so like big baggy pants, or button downs, or something like that, and then take more "masculine" patterns, that are more edgy, like stripes, plaid, geometric patterns, and find it in like a "female" clothing item, so like a skirt, or a nice sweater, or something, as for ur hair, i normally wear my hair up or put it in a bun, i also have bangs too, to make it like i have short hair in the front (im trying to make them into curtain bangs)as for the gender stuff, if u cant rlly tell if ur not vibing with ur assigned gender at birth maybe just try using a new name or new pronouns and try it out for like a week and see how it makes u feel <3 we love and support u no matter what
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