relationship advice please
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booknerd04
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1 year, 11 months ago by booknerd04
Hi um so I might just be overthinking but I have a gf let’s call her A and we’ve been together since September and since my parents don’t approve or know we can’t hang out outside of school and we can only message each other on certain apps so yea it’s hard and in the beginning of December my bsf pressured me to break up with her because she somehow convinced that it was for the best bc I was hurting her since she’s in a really bad place rn( she’s in iop) and it hurt me so much saying those words and I wasn’t sleeping or eating the rest of that week and she was the same and after I explained things she somehow forgave me and honestly I don’t deserve it but she did and we are back together and we constantly talk about our future and we both said that we love one another already and she says that I’m the one for her and honestly I think she’s the one for me too but recently there was this other girl( let’s call her b) that was one of her new friends at iop and about a week after they met she started pressuring her to break up with me and apparently it was bc B has( or had) a crush on A. Now A told me everything and she had a hard time rejecting B because B is also in a bad place and B even broke up with her bf just bc of A but she clarified with B that they are just friends but B is constantly messaging her and is even hitting on her but I don’t know if just friends flirting platonicly cause she does that with her friends and A tells me everytime when B messages her and stuff and I trust my gf but idk I get insecure and A even told me that her mom thinks she has a crush on B bc she keeps messaging her. And I talked about it with A that I feel uncomfortable with B hitting on her and she reassured me that she wouldn’t date B and that she doesn’t see her that way and that she loves me but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way..? Because now staying up late messaging each other was our thing and she told our friend group in front of that B was messaging her til 2 and she didn’t now how to tell her she needed to sleep because B would then say “but I’m not tired” or something along those lines and that she was hitting on her AGAIN and I mean A kinda seemed y comfy and awkward when she was talking about she had that smile whenever she was in or describing a situation that was either annoying her or where it was awkward that she wasn’t too sure what to do. I mean she apologized to me that she was being kinda distant bc there’s been a lot on her mind and I mean I get it there’s midterms this week but then she told me she’s also been having weird dreams like me and B in the same room and she here’s similar voices? She didn’t say anything else about it thou. It’s just she always seems more happy with her friends than with me sometimes Yk? And I mean she would be happier with someone else bc they could actually go on dates and go to each other houses like regular couples. Maybe I’m just overthinking or being jealous but I just don’t know what to do 😅😀
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booknerd04
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1 year, 11 months ago by booknerd04
Also I’m so sorry that it’s so long
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halokiwi
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1 year, 11 months ago by halokiwi
This seems like a very tough situation.Person B seems a bit toxic. There is an advice, I can give to both you and person A: just because someone is in a bad place mentally, you don't have to do whatever they want. You can still refuse to do things. I think person A really needs to learn to speak up towards person B and person B should accept that person A is not romantically interested in them and that maybe since person A has a girlfriend (you) that flirting is maybe not the right thing to do, even if she says it's done as a joke. You are sad about not spending more time with person A. You are both girls, right? Couldn't you pretend to be just friends in order to hang out more? I'm sure you also hang out with your other friends in your free time. |
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booknerd04
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1 year, 11 months ago by booknerd04
@halokiwi thank you for the advice it’s just idk I’m scared I’m gonna come of as controlling I suppose? And person As mom even says she doesn’t like B and yea I agree with you she does toxic but A doesn’t have many friends and I don’t want to be that gf that wants to control her friendships Yk so yea it’s tough. And I wish I could hang out with her but I can’t bc ever since I came out to my parents they don’t want hanging out with people who lqbt and don’t I’m just “confused”, they are very religious. They would have let me hang out with her with a group if they didn’t find a gc with her and ex bsfs called the gays which is why my parents tried to block all communication between us
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booknerd04
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1 year, 11 months ago by booknerd04
*and they say I’m just “confused”
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Aussie_Izz
Bracelet King
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1 year, 11 months ago by Aussie_Izz
I am so sorry for you this seems like a really difficult situation to be in. I don't really have any advice but I hope everything turns out ok!
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Katie-Kat1
Skiller
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1 year, 10 months ago by Katie-Kat1
You could try going on a break or distancing yourself and if she cares enough to ask why then explain but
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Katie-Kat1
Skiller
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1 year, 10 months ago by Katie-Kat1
*but if she doesn’t seem to care then it might be time to let her go. Also would not hurt to say you’re currently confused with how y’all’s relationship is currently
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