id like a bit of support/ advice.
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spookyyy
Skiller
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2 years, 8 months ago by spookyyy
might be long, sorry. i dated this guy (call him karl idk) karl was super cool for a while and tried to communicate with me. (we both have some problems with mental health and im autistic) and then his dad got leukemia and he withdraws from me, i understand and give him space while also checking on him consistently (2-3 times a week.) two weeks later his dad passes and he ghosts me for a while, but only me. how do i know this? i'm friends with his best friend and they have been talking every day and hanging out constantly. so i message him and i'm like "if you want to break up please tell me because this ghosting thing really hurts and it makes me feel like i'm unimportant to you" and he comes back with "k so?" so i say okay and ask if he wants to break up and he proceeds to say "i don't know stop asking" and i tell him to give me an answer because what we are doing is really hard and the whole not answering questions is hard for me to understand he says he doesnt wanna break up with me. but our story doesn't end here folks no no no. i then get my phone taken and he doesn't try to talk to me for over a month. i message him, he responded a week later with an apology and asks for another chance and i say okay. he hasn't talked to me sense. am i doing something wrong? hes blocked me now so i think its over but i feel so so gross and yeah advice would be nice : ) |
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crafter83
Bracelet King
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2 years, 8 months ago by crafter83
You did nothing wrong, he sounds like a jerk
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crafter83
Bracelet King
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2 years, 8 months ago by crafter83
You handled the situation very well, while he was immature
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bball3458
Bracelet King
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2 years, 8 months ago by bball3458
It sounds like he was going through a rough time and unfairly took it out on you. I'm rly sorry that had to happen to you, but I wouldn't judge him to harshly as I assume he was prob having a hard time dealing with the stress and sadness and needed someway to feel better. However, I don't think you should keep trying to talk to him if he is treating you like that, especially if you didn't do anything! He is not handling the situation well and although I think it was very nice of you to try and keep reaching out, I don't think you have to keep giving him second chances if he is continuing to act so rude. That is my advice but ofc do what feels right to you as you obv know the situation better!! I hoped that helped at least a little bit and good luck figuring it out!Also remember it is him not you!! |
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scamac1248
Professional
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2 years, 8 months ago by scamac1248
you were honestly trying to help him out and obviously he’s grieving but if he takes it out on you so harshly like it’s not worth it to try and be there when he’s not even a little bit grateful. there’s people out there who will appreciate every ounce of you and you’re worth that and more
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weirdkiddo
Bracelet King
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2 years, 7 months ago by weirdkiddo
It sounds like he’s going through a lot of issues. And sometimes when people go through tough situations they want a best friend to talk to. I’m not saying this to be rude, it’s just how some people feel sometimes. And sometimes people want their best friend instead of a significant other to talk to at the moment. Now, I’m not saying what he did is ok, ghosting you is not right and I’ve been on the receiving end of it, it ain’t fun. My ex ghosted me for months before he finally broke up with me. But, he might be doing it because he’s afraid of losing another person he cares about or just not in a mental space where he feels dating is good for him. I know it’s hard but I would break up with him if you haven’t. If I could go back I would have broken up with my ex while he was ghosting me and saved myself a lot of stress and worry.
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weirdkiddo
Bracelet King
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2 years, 7 months ago by weirdkiddo
You did nothing wrong though. And obviously do what you decide is best for you.
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xc2024
Professional
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2 years, 7 months ago by xc2024
not to be stereotypical but guys tend to not realize how their actions come across. for perspective i’m a high school girl and i was talking to someone and him and i were both having a tough time, for separate reasons. we pushed each other away and are super close friends but nothing more. it works for us. he is one of the first people i go to when i’m struggling and vise versa. but we can’t be that everyday person. moral of the story, if you miss talking to him try to be friends, if that’ll work, but sometimes 2 people just don’t work, and there is nothing anyone can do. also idk how old you are, but people can be immature and clueless, especially when going through a lot, so if in a year, it seems like it could work out, i’d say go for it, but be careful. just me tho, and you did nothing wrong, he pulled away when you tried to be there. also just to play devil’s advocate some people pull away when things are tough, that’s just how they are(me). not saying it’s fair to you, it could just be how he is, so if you end up trying to fix things, be prepared for that. good luck, i promise it’ll work itself out 🙂
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61805327
Professional
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2 years, 7 months ago by 61805327
I’ve also had roughly the same problem. My best friend ghosted me and then blocked me. Idk if this will help it helped me. I told myself that In a year or two I can try contacting him again, every new thing that I do I think: oh he dose not know this about me yet. It gives me something to try to look forward to. Idk why or if it will help you! Also I know it’s hard bc I bet this guy is a great person and you have shared a lot of memories but try to drop him. I know
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Rowsitt
Bracelet King
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2 years, 7 months ago by Rowsitt
don’t waste time on him. even if he is going thru sth, just saying “k so?” means he doesn’t care that much abt u. he don’t deserve u
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