maybe toxic (kinda) friend
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ellas30
Skiller
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2 years, 10 months ago by ellas30
i have this one friend that i have known for a long time and i dont know if shes a bit toxic. weve been going to school together since kindergarten and ever since then whenever it was just the 2 of us she was really nice to me and acted like we were best friends but whenever we were with her other friends she would either make fun of me or ignore me. about a week ago she was being a bit rude on a chat that we have with the grade and some of her friends from camp. but also this past year shes been nicer to me at school. shes been including me and talking to me a lot. but for about the past month shes started going back to ignoring me. i was supposed to start a new school today (didnt because of covid) and she reached out to me asking how it went. i dont know if i want to reply or not. should i try to stay in tough with her? should i ignore her? i dont know if i still want to be friends with her or not. anyone got any tips? also not sure if toxic was the right word but idk...
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xc2024
Professional
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2 years, 10 months ago by xc2024
i’d reply. it doesn’t have to be more then “oh i didn’t start today” but maybe you’ll get closer with her. i’ve had friends that were so nice when it was just us but in groups they aren’t, sometimes it’s peer pressure, good luck!
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ellas30
Skiller
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2 years, 10 months ago by ellas30
@xc2024 thanks
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GeeFee
Professional
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2 years, 10 months ago by GeeFee
I’d say that this isn’t a true friendship. True friends don’t change their attitude, either they’re with you and treat you with respect or not. You don’t mention whether she also meets with you and your friends. If you just meet her alone or with her friends I’d say - out of my long time ago school time - you’re just „interesting“ for her as a gap filler. As soon as her group of friends is around you’re just like a fifth wheel on a car. Take your time to answer her, no direct response, just like „Sorry for my late reply, due to covid school didn’t yet start for me, but I’ve been busy with my friends and preparing stuff….“ something like that, you’re not waiting for her, you’re not dependent on her, you’re leading your own life, you’re busy without her. This should be made clear between the lines. If she understands that and still tries to keep up the contact, then decide whether you want to give her a chance. I’d rather say no as there definitely are better friends out there for you. But of course it’s up to you. After all if you want to keep up your contact, you will have to speak with her and clear up things urgently, there’s no other way.
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suppeople
Advanced
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2 years, 10 months ago by suppeople
@ellas30 I went thru the EXACT same thing… no joke it’s actually kinda creepy 😂 I had a friend who when it was just us, we were fine but she’d leave me out when we were with others. I was always willing to give her 2nd chance but as we got older, I didn’t rlly wanna be her friend anymore. She would curse when our parents weren’t around and one day my mom found out she cursed and told me maybe it wasn’t the best idea to hang out with her so much. But I just blocked her and removed her contacts and stuff without explanation. Now, abt 5 yrs later, my friend who goes to school with her gave her my Snapchat, and I gave her another chance. She apologized and bc of her, I was able to reconnect with some of my other old friends I had lost touch with. I’m so glad I gave her a second chance
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Xxpuffish
Professional
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2 years, 10 months ago by Xxpuffish
From my experience my toxic “best friend” really caused me so much trauma and it really messed me up I never respond to her texts I just delete them because she moved and I didn’t have to talk to her anymore. So my advice is don’t text her because maintains a relationship with someone like that takes more of your energy than it does theirs. This might be late sorry!!
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