Forum - Community - friend advice pls

nev_m_07

Bracelet King

2 years, 12 months ago by nev_m_07

So I have this friend and I’m kind of starting to doubt our friendship. She’s kinda nice but I’m starting to not like being around her. She’s rlly clingy and I don’t like it when people are clingy. Any time we’re walking down the hallway, she’ll put her arms around me as we walk to class and it makes me uncomfortable.

Not only that, but she’s kind of rude sometimes without even realizing it. One time I was swamped with work and trying rlly hard to catch up and out of nowhere she just yells “[MY NAME]! You STILL haven’t turned in this assignment?! It was due LAST WEEK! Wow! I’m so disappointed…..” And ik she was joking but she kinda put me on blast in front of the entire class.

The other day, we were doing a science lab and I was struggling to see until I actually found a good spot. And then, out of nowhere, she starts pushing through everyone and she stepped all over my shoes (which were brand new), just to stand right in front of me so that I couldn’t even see.

And in dance class, that same day, she did the same thing. I was trying to see the mirror and I was a smidge out of place, when she grabs me by the shoulders and yanks me over, not into my place, but right behind her. And whenever we put our stuff down in the dance studio, she’ll out her stuff on top of mine, even when there’s plenty of space for her bag. Like she’s put her phone on top of my lunch box, she’ll put her clothes on top of my backpack, and one time she even took an airsip of my water without even asking, which is gross. I don’t even give anyone airsips because I think it’s gross, and I ended up not drinking water from my bottle for the rest of the day because of it.

Idk if she’s doing some of this stuff on purpose, but it’s really getting out of hand. She spam texts me even when I say I’m busy, and when my notifications are silenced, she’ll notify me anyway even when it’s not an emergency. It’s hard because even when I want to get away, I can’t because we have the majority of our classes together, and all of my other friends eat lunch in the same room as her. I don’t want to just say “i don’t want to be friends anymore” because that’s not the case, but how do I tell her that she needs to respect my boundaries a little more? Pls leave tips if you have them.

senor

Bracelet King

2 years, 12 months ago by senor

id say to sit her down and tell her. give the examples you just gave us. if you don’t feel like you can talk to her in person, then tell her over text. maybe she isn’t aware bc she has other friends that she will do this with bc i have friends where i tease (not necessarily what she does) and it’s a mutual thing. so it could possibly be her considering you a “good friend” but you should definitely talk to her about it, and then if she can’t respect your boundaries or try to like guilt trip you by saying things like “im just being ur friend” or “stop getting so offended”, and you try and talk to her about it to understand your pov and she still doesn’t understand, then i’d say talk to your other close friends about it, and see what they think. talk to your parents even. and yeah it’s hard if you have majority classes together, but if you start giving her the silent treatment AFTER you’ve talked it out, it’s honestly the best form of consequence and she’ll understand the penalty of not taking your boundaries and your wants/needs serious.

ArtsyAnna

Bracelet King

2 years, 12 months ago by ArtsyAnna

Have you tried talking to her and telling her how you feel about the things she is doing? I know it might seem hard to do that but it helps to talk things out.

nev_m_07 Bracelet King	2 years, 12 months ago by nev_m_07 So I have this friend and I’m kind of starting to doubt our friendship. She’s kinda nice but I’m starting to not like being around her. She’s rlly clingy and I don’t like it when people are clingy. Any time we’re walking down the hallway, she’ll put her arms around me as we walk to class and it makes me uncomfortable. Not only that, but she’s kind of rude sometimes without even realizing it. One time I was swamped with work and trying rlly hard to catch up and out of nowhere she just yells “[MY NAME]! You STILL haven’t turned in this assignment?! It was due LAST WEEK! Wow! I’m so disappointed…..” And ik she was joking but she kinda put me on blast in front of the entire class. The other day, we were doing a science lab and I was struggling to see until I actually found a good spot. And then, out of nowhere, she starts pushing through everyone and she stepped all over my shoes (which were brand new), just to stand right in front of me so that I couldn’t even see. And in dance class, that same day, she did the same thing. I was trying to see the mirror and I was a smidge out of place, when she grabs me by the shoulders and yanks me over, not into my place, but right behind her. And whenever we put our stuff down in the dance studio, she’ll out her stuff on top of mine, even when there’s plenty of space for her bag. Like she’s put her phone on top of my lunch box, she’ll put her clothes on top of my backpack, and one time she even took an airsip of my water without even asking, which is gross. I don’t even give anyone airsips because I think it’s gross, and I ended up not drinking water from my bottle for the rest of the day because of it. Idk if she’s doing some of this stuff on purpose, but it’s really getting out of hand. She spam texts me even when I say I’m busy, and when my notifications are silenced, she’ll notify me anyway even when it’s not an emergency. It’s hard because even when I want to get away, I can’t because we have the majority of our classes together, and all of my other friends eat lunch in the same room as her. I don’t want to just say “i don’t want to be friends anymore” because that’s not the case, but how do I tell her that she needs to respect my boundaries a little more? Pls leave tips if you have them.
senor Bracelet King	2 years, 12 months ago by senor id say to sit her down and tell her. give the examples you just gave us. if you don’t feel like you can talk to her in person, then tell her over text. maybe she isn’t aware bc she has other friends that she will do this with bc i have friends where i tease (not necessarily what she does) and it’s a mutual thing. so it could possibly be her considering you a “good friend” but you should definitely talk to her about it, and then if she can’t respect your boundaries or try to like guilt trip you by saying things like “im just being ur friend” or “stop getting so offended”, and you try and talk to her about it to understand your pov and she still doesn’t understand, then i’d say talk to your other close friends about it, and see what they think. talk to your parents even. and yeah it’s hard if you have majority classes together, but if you start giving her the silent treatment AFTER you’ve talked it out, it’s honestly the best form of consequence and she’ll understand the penalty of not taking your boundaries and your wants/needs serious.
ArtsyAnna Bracelet King	2 years, 12 months ago by ArtsyAnna Have you tried talking to her and telling her how you feel about the things she is doing? I know it might seem hard to do that but it helps to talk things out.

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