i need some help… pls. page 2
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07
@Yellowfang // I’m going with my teammates to talk to the athletics director on Tuesday after practice, so I’ll let you know how it goes. I read through the staff code of conduct for my school district, and he’s breaking a lot of rules in terms of verbal abuse and harassment, intimidating students, and not being professional.
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07
@Yellowfang // I didn’t mean to hit send lol. I highlighted all of the rules that he’s been breaking, and there are a lot of them. So I’m going to use that, along with whatever audio recording I can get, as evidence to try and get him fired or something.
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07
@GenMalucci // @Yellowfang // should I also contact my state athletics administration and/or the county board of education superintendent? I feel like they’ll be able to do more about the situation than my school’s athletics director, since all coaches are hired through the county.
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Yellowfang
Bracelet King
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3 years, 3 months ago by Yellowfang
Start with athletic director, the principle and work you way up. Oh! And try to keep it from the mean coach. He will def take it out on u for trying to call him out, have u told your parents? I’m sure if all the parents got together as well, it would also make a bigger impact on the school board. Good luck 👍
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07
@Yellowfang // yeah I talked to my mom about it, and she thinks that it's also verbal abuse. I don't think she understands how bad it is, but obviously there's no way for her to fully understand something that she has not and will not get to witness since no parents are allowed at practice. But I think I get all of the girls on the team to tell their parent(s) about it, then we as a team, and with our parents can bring it up to the school board and ask for a change. I think if we can get some sort of recording, then that will be better, as that will be our only proof. I just don't know if I'll be able to catch it all...
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GenMalucci
Bracelet King
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3 years, 3 months ago by GenMalucci
I think you should.
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Yellowfang
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by Yellowfang
How’s it going?
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Yellowfang
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by Yellowfang
Have u got a recorder yet?
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by nev_m_07
@Yellowfang // no not yet. I haven’t been able to record anything yet, but I will try. I tried talking to the athletics director yesterday, but he wasn’t there. I have practice soon, so I’ll see if he’s there today. Yesterday, the weirdest thing happened. So at the beginning, the coach that’s being rlly horrible to us was being horrible, and then he got a phone call and after that he was silent. We kept asking what we should do next, and he was like “whatever you think, idrc. Just coach yourselves.” He seemed off, but just from him backing off, practice was so much more fun! It’s so weird, but him not being there or being active changes the whole vibe and makes in 100000x more enjoyable….
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by nev_m_07
it*
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Yellowfang
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by Yellowfang
Maybe some teacher called him out or like he got some sad news, tell me how it goes
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Yellowfang
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by Yellowfang
Any updates?
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by nev_m_07
@Yellowfang // not yet. He wasn't at practice yesterday since he found out his sister has covid. I don't think he was exposed, but he's staying home for mental health reasons ig.
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im-a-dog
Skiller
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3 years, 2 months ago by im-a-dog
Oof on that his sister has covid, but maybe it gives the team a needed break that he's away for a few practices? Did you and/or your teammates talk to the other coaches? It sounds like you're a little worried you won't be taken seriously by the "higher ups", that they'll think you're just a bunch of teenagers who complain about nothing. First of all, yes, it happens that teenagers (especially girls) don't get listened to or taken seriously. It's a societal problem that (in my opinion) urgently needs to stop. If, say, the athletics director doesn't care, go to the principal. If the principal doesn't care, go to whoever is the manager of the principal (I have no idea, but some county or state person? Your parents probably know the system better than a random Swede on the internet) etc. If you want adult support just to be sure something changes, talk to the other coaches (I assume they're at least a couple years older?) about joining you or going the route of complaining about their work situation, they also have first hand experience of his behaviour. And like you already initiated, have parents complain. Unfortunately the word of parents tend to weigh heavier than that of the actual students. If it's hard to organize the recording of things he says, I'd recommend writing it down immediately after practice. If several members of the team do this at multiple occasions, you have almost recordings. You have examples to point at. Something like this (I don't know much about cheer so I'm just making things up 🤪 ): 'Aug 28th 4.30pm The team practices routine for pep rally. Group D wobbles during a lift, but do not fall. Mr X yells at the group, "You are horrible!", "Why can't you do anything right?", "If every other flyer can do it properly, why can't you?". He forces the group to do 50 situps each and then perform the lift again, but gives no feedback on how to improve. This time they do it without wobbling. Mr X says "Finally. Now keep doing it like that or I'll find someone else to take your spot."' Maybe you can get help from a friend or parent recording or even just secretly listening? Depending on what the building looks like, it might be possible to sit outside a window and record, or stand in a locker room and listen through the door? That way you wouldn't have to sneak equipment in and hide it. This last part I say with my entire heart; You (and the rest of the team) deserve to enjoy the sport you've chosen to take part in, have fun, feel safe and not be yelled at constantly. |
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by nev_m_07
@im-a-dog // tysm for your advice ❤️ I will definitely start writing things down, since recording doesn’t seem like much of an option.
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braceletmk
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by braceletmk
I hope you figure out how to get evidence of him saying these things. I had a gym teacher in one of my schools it was upper elementary so 4th grade-6th grade which I think is like 9-12-year-olds. Anyways the gym teacher was like 70 and he was super inappropriate. He would flirt with the other teachers even though they were married and he would like LOOK at the girls (if u know what I mean) even though they were 9-12 years old and he was 70. He would also say inappropriate stuff to us. Once he kept saying that I had a boyfriend (which I never did) and he would talk about us kissing and he even made up a song for me (not that I asked for it). It was like the song that went "hit me baby one more time" or something like that but he made it so it was like "kiss me baby one more time" and he sang it to me and I was sooo embarassed. Thankfully he is retired now. So yeah, that's my crazy gym teacher story. Also, I definitely think you should try to get some kind of evidence of your coach saying that stuff to you and tell an adult. Everybody else said what my other ideas were so yeah. I know you will find a way to resolve this problem! I'm supporting you through all of this!
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braceletmk
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by braceletmk
did you have practice or whatever today?
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by nev_m_07
@GenMalucci // @braceletmk // @Yellowfang // here’s a little update 🙂 So I found out that a bunch of the other girls were planning on going to the athletics director, so we were gonna go, and then one of the captains stopped us and was like “where are you going?” So we explained to her what was happening, and she was like “wait who here has a problem with the coach?” And we were all like “It’s not that we have a problem with him personally, it’s just that we have a problem with the way he treats us.” We basically kept going back and forth, and she seemed… mad? Idk if that’s rlly the right word, but she looked upset that we were even bringing it up. It’s probably easy for her though, because she’s a captain and she’s favored, but even then everyone else sees the way he picks on her…. Anyway. We decided that we were going to have a team meeting with the coaches, and that if it didn’t improve after the meeting that we would bring it up to someone higher up. The meeting went rlly well, and even though the coach did deny like half of the stuff we brought up, I can tell that he’s somewhat making an effort to treat us better. Some girls don’t think he’s a problem, but they also think that the people who are complaining are just “taking it personally” and that they “can’t handle a strict coach”. I think it just depends on how they were brought up, bc a lot of them just settle for whatever and don’t rlly speak up when they see something wrong. I’m not like that, though, and if the coach starts being verbally abusive again, then I’ll tell someone, either with my teammates or without.
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by nev_m_07
But yeah that’s the update (:
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nev_m_07
Bracelet King
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3 years, 2 months ago by nev_m_07
Also, he seems to be very happy with us atm, since we’re improving a lot. We cheered well at the football game last friday, and we’ve been hitting all of our stunts, so I think as long as we keep him happy, we’re good. But if we start getting worse, then there will probably be issues….
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