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i need some help… pls.

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nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 So i just made the varsity cheer team at my school, and there’s a bit of a dilemma. One of my coaches is kinda strict. Like I’ve dealt with tough coaches before, but this is different. He has a very high standard for us, and any time we mess up or make mistakes, he just says that we’re “not even trying.” This is frustrating for me, because as someone with no cheer experience whatsoever, trying to keep up is already hard enough, let alone feeling like my effort and work isn’t being valued. He gets annoyed when we mess up, and instead of trying to correct the issue, he just yells at us and tells us to “go take a break”. Whenever we’re tired, he just says “if you can’t handle it then you can go to jv,” so we all keep pushing ourselves because we want to stay on the team. He also only cares about winning, and I feel like my safety and my teammates’ safety isn’t being prioritized. Instead, the only thing he cares about is winning. I don’t really know what to do, but I feel like this is verbal abuse. I know cheer is a hard sport, but no athlete should be treated like this. I feel stressed out, and the thought of going to practice doesn’t make me feel happy like it should. Instead, it makes me feel anxious and worried. Should I tell someone else like the principal or something? Pls give me some advice…
nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 Oh and also just to add, the two other coaches (who are girls) are constantly trying to overrule whatever the male coach is saying, but he’s always like “no they’re gonna keep going until they can get it right.” And sometimes one of the female coaches will say “I think they’re tired, we should let them take a break” and the male coach will say “well breaks don’t get us to first place.” I’m not saying it’s a thing about gender or anything, but I feel like there’s some sort of male dominance happening here.
GenMalucci Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by GenMalucci If there is a locker room or place you can meet up with your teammates I suggest having them meet up with you and you can discuss the issue. Bad coaches are a serious issue, because if you’re tired, and you try “one more time” you could get seriously hurt. If you can rally the troops and get your team to be able to speak to the other coaches, the coaches could discuss a better plan, or get a new coach for that matter. I 100% understand trying to keep up with everyone, but know that you got on that team because you have it in you. I suggest speaking to your teammates and other coaches about what actions can be taken.
nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 @GenMalucci I’m going to talk to one of the captains, and potentially one of the other coaches and see if other people feel the same way. One of my friends on the team who is also a new flyer said she feels the same way, and that the guy coach is scaring her. We’ve both been dropped a few times, and every time it happens, the guy coach doesn’t even ask us if we’re ok or anything. He just yells at us, tells us that it’s all our fault, and then makes us run laps. He’s always like “See! This is what I mean. This is why this team is never gonna win. I know many of you were on JV last year, and maybe that was acceptable there, but not on my team.”

nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 @GenMalucci do you think I should try to like record him or something as proof? Ik it’s risky, but if I can catch him yelling at us the way he does, maybe it will help us in trying to get a new coach.
GenMalucci Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by GenMalucci I definitely think you should. Bring your phone or camera and record a couple practices. Most likely you’ll get at least some yelling. And then it’s easier to see that changes need happening. I suggest putting the camera/phone where he can’t see it, tucked out of the way. Cause I have filmed people being jerks before and if they spot the camera it’s over. But you all deserve to be on the team, if not you wouldn’t have made it. And mistakes are unavoidable, so don’t feel bad if you mess up,
nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 @GenMalucci thanks for the advice (: I’ll definitely try to at least get an audio recording at practice today, and see if I catch anything. If not, I’ll try to talk to the athletics director and see what we can do.
nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 The only problem is that whenever the athletics director is there to watch us practice, the coach that is usually mean acts extra nice. But then the moment he leaves, it’s back to normal 😒
GenMalucci Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by GenMalucci That’s unfortunate. You can probably purchase a cheap recorder off of Amazon, and clip it to the inside of your shirt or something. Just so it’s not noticeable
im-a-dog Skiller	3 years, 3 months ago by im-a-dog I don’t live in the US so I can’t say for sure, but the school should be interested in it’s students not getting injured due to a coach’s behavior. Like @GenMalucci says, I’d talk to other team mates and/or coaches. If several of you are worried that shouldn’t be dismissed by the athletics director or principal regardless of whether you have proof. Also, I thought safety issues are a reason for deduction in cheer competitions? Like if someone falls and is not caught by the teammates. Or even if the routine is carried out in a way that risks injuries? (And if all else fails, go to like the local newspaper and tell them your school doesn’t care about its students 🤷‍♀️🤪)
nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 @im-a-dog @GenMalucci I talked with some of my teammates, and it seems like we’re on the same page. Now it just boils down to how to “expose” him. Me and many other girls were like on the verge of crying today, and he’s just always pushing us too far and belittling people. I think we’re gonna talk with the other coaches about it, and then also talk to the school’s athletics directors about it. But hopefully we can get rid of him asap.

GenMalucci Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by GenMalucci Good luck.
Godluvsu Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by Godluvsu Oh gosh. This definitely is not okay, and I understand because I’ve been in the same situation before. Let someone of importance (athletic director, principal, school board, etc) know your concerns, and let them know everything that happens. Trust me when I say it’s really important to have evidence, so keep track of things he does that are not ok. I hope the situation gets resolved, good luck as I know it can be hard to have courage sometimes
Yellowfang Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by Yellowfang Yes! Go spy mode get like a small recorder and expose him! But! Make sure the recorder isn’t noticing enough and makes sure to charge it each day if u don’t get any yelling! Good luck! Agent Nev_m_07
Annie_Whe Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by Annie_Whe That sounds terrible! Definitely tell an athletic director about him and supply proof. If all else fails you could drop down to JV because your safety and mental health should come before any sports team.
nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 @Annie_Whe except he coaches jv too :/
nev_m_07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by nev_m_07 @Annie_Whe but I’m definitely talking to an athletic director about it today, and I’m bringing some teammates along.

Annie_Whe Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by Annie_Whe I am wishing you the best today with the athletic director today!
Yellowfang Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by Yellowfang Will u tag me with how it goes?
Vivi07 Bracelet King	3 years, 3 months ago by Vivi07 hey! i’m sorry that this is happening, it sounds really horrible. i would definitely recommend finding some way to record him, so that you have evidence that he’s pushing you and belittling you. its really important to have evidence, because coming from experience, if you dont have any, people will not believe so much. let me know how it goes , wishing you all the best!

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