I need some help/advice! page 2
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GenMalucci
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3 years, 2 months ago by GenMalucci
That’s a good point. Being disrespectful to anyone is not ok. Bring it up to her and ask her about it (: have a good day!
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senor
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3 years, 2 months ago by senor
cuz as @GenMalucci said and i agree i think there’s a difference between not support lgbtqiap+ and being homophobic. what she was doing was homophobic because it wasn’t respectful. honestly, u should call her out on it. because it’s honestly rude. and personally, i think good friends would call each other out when they’ve crossed lines. she’s allowed to not support it, but being rude like that isn’t ok.
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
@crafter83 possibly, I’m not quite sure. Actually come to think of it, she always talks about her extremely religious cousin who told her about all this stuff, like how meditation is a sin (she refused to do our exercise cool down in P.E. because it had meditation in it) and she probably told her about this too. That’s a good point to say about his religion not being illegal so you’re marriage shouldn’t either. I might use that. But you shouldn’t hate Christianity. Most of us are really respectful people (: I’m Christian but I support lgbtq+, pro-life, and being vaccinated (someone on a vaccination post was saying all Christians are anti vax so idk if that’s a thing?) and I think if someone else has a different opinion that’s absolutely ok as long as they’re respectful about it! I’m not mad btw I’m just saying that most of us are cool. My Christian school is very accepting everyone in our class (except for you know who) put pride profile pics including our teacher and principal! Thanks for everything be, it was a big help!
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
@senor maybe, I don’t know. She usually doesn’t bring it up but if we’re talking about a show or something (for example our last argument was because my best friend and I thought the gay couple in the show Schitt’s Creek was cute) she starts going on and on. Maybe I’ll try to stay away from her for a while then slowly start hanging out with her again and help her learn to be nicer and more considerate
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
@crafter83 Oops! Also I meant I’m pro-choice in my thing above that I said to you. I’m not pro-life I’m pro-choice oops. (No offence to anyone who’s pro-life, it’s fine it’s just that I’m not)
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senor
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3 years, 2 months ago by senor
that sounds like a good idea. i hope it all works out.
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loopAloop
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3 years, 2 months ago by loopAloop
I am also very rooted in the Bible what I was saying is that everybody is very sinful and everybody has problems but I don't think that yelling at people is going to change their sinful opinion, I hope my comments were helpful, please be kind to your friend.
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
@senor thanks I hope it works out too! (:
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
I think I’ve decided what to do: when she walks up to me on the first day of school, I’ll tell her how I feel about everything she had said, something along the lines of (let’s call her Bella) “Bella, you were so rude and immature during pride month. You should have kept your opinion to yourself and let [other girl] celebrate pride. It’s fine to have your opinion but you can keep it to yourself when it will hurt someone”. Then I’ll leave it alone and avoid her for a few days. Then the second week of school, I’ll go up to her and say “hey, I’m sorry I got mad but you really were immature. Maybe you can apologize to [other girl] and we can hang out again. It’s fine that you have a different opinion if you can let other people be themselves and keep your opinion to yourself.” And if she agrees and apologizes and tries to change, then great all good. If she doesn’t, idk what I’d do then.
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GenMalucci
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3 years, 2 months ago by GenMalucci
It’s a good start, but purposely getting “mad” at her is not going to go well. I would stay calm, tell her the truth of how you felt/feel, and then end with something like “but if you can respect (insert name here) a bit more, I still want to be your friend” just so she doesn’t feel completely bashed and alone at the start of school. I like the idea though (:
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
@GenMalucci yeah I’m not going to get mad like yelling and stuff just telling her how I feel because I don’t want to make her feel terrible and I don’t want to make a scene in front of everyone. Yes I’m going to end with that that’s a good idea. If our other two friends stay in online school, she won’t have anyone to be with and I don’t want that either. Thanks so much! I’m gonna have to talk to my other friend to tell her the plan
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crafter83
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3 years, 2 months ago by crafter83
That makes sense, I knew they had to be influenced by someone. I don’t hate Christians, just Christianity. I feel the same about all religions, so it’s not personal. It’s a long thing not worth getting into. My 3 friends are Christians as well as most of my friends on this site. So I’m chill with people believing what they want, as long as they don’t use it as a excuse to hurt others. Well my parents and many of their Christian friends got vaccinated, so that’s not. Good luck with your friend ❤️
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Godluvsu
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3 years, 2 months ago by Godluvsu
I have a friend who brings up her opposite beliefs plenty. Sometimes it’s a straight dig at me and makes me roll my eyes and just shake it off. Sometimes it leads to great conversations where we both mature and come around. I think it is fine to have opposite beliefs as someone and still be their friend. I’m not gonna immerse myself with them, but balance is important. I just think it’s important to not be intolerant of others opinions. There’s nothing wrong with differing beliefs : )
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Godluvsu
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3 years, 2 months ago by Godluvsu
The key is just knowing when to get bothered or not! If she’s bullying, not ok. But she does have a right to voice her opinions, respectfully and to me it’s intolerant if you can’t be friends with someone with opposite opinions. What your saying is she was being unkind though and that’s not ok, maybe talk to her and take politics out, and make sure she knows it’s not ok to be mean regardless of beliefs
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Godluvsu
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3 years, 2 months ago by Godluvsu
And these are just my thoughts take them for what their worth! Good luck 😁Simply put: politics aren’t worth ruining your friendship but bullying is not ok!
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
@Godluvsu you’re right and it was never really a problem that she didn’t have the same view as me because she never really brought it up, but she was really disrespectful to this one bi girl in my class. Luckily, she was a good sport (because everyone else stood up for her) but she could have really hurt someone and that’s not ok. It’s just that she was so disrespectful and immature about it. (She screamed NO NO NO on a pride post on our google classroom) and she didn’t respect our opinions (she yelled at us because we put pride profile pictures in support of our friend). If she had just kept her opinions to herself or had been more respectful about it, it wouldn’t have been a problem really. I want to be friends with her still, but if she is going to act disrespectful and immature when people have different opinions (whatever opinion, not just this), I don’t know if I do want to be friends with her y’know? Thanks for your input! (:
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Godluvsu
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3 years, 2 months ago by Godluvsu
@LiliaKnots I agree with you. It’s fine for her to share her opinions but being unkind and disrespectful is not ok ☹️I’m sorry your friend had to experience that
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LiliaKnots
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3 years, 2 months ago by LiliaKnots
@Godluvsu yes she could have shared her opinion in a civil manner and just let our friend celebrate who she is for one day. Thanks for your help! (:
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Elise64
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3 years, 2 months ago by Elise64
I think that you should try to educate her and if she still won’t change or isn’t willing to listen, then you shouldn’t be friends anymore, or you could stop being friends with her until she realizes how bad she is acting. you shouldn’t be rude about it because that might drive her away from wanting to be educated and it might give her an even worse view on all of these things. it’s reasonable to be mad at her, but don’t take it too far. if she’s the type of person who says all lives matter because they think blm isn’t fair but also believes in blue lives matter, tell her that she can’t believe that saying a group of people matter is unfair but then say that another group of people matters. if she’s the type of person to say that we shouldn’t have to get the vaccination because it doesn’t work fully, say that when we wear helmets when biking, we can get injuries but we still wear them. hope this helps!
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Love_Fox
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3 years, 2 months ago by Love_Fox
Hey! Interesting situation. I think what you should do is talk to her about the way she is handling her opinions. I do not think you should stop being her friend because of her opinions on these things, but I think if she continues to be yelling and rude, you should drop her as a friend. You guys should sit down and talk about your opinions (WITHOUT ARGUING) and both agree to respect each others opinions. If you can't even respect each others opinions. it will be hard to remain in a friendship. You both have to agree, you have to agree not to get mad at her opinions and she needs to agree not to be yelling and being rude to people. I think you should tell her "If you can't stop being rude or yelling about these things, I am going to distance myself from you"I agree with some of your friends opinions I just disagree with the way she handled it! I hope you can figure everything out! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ |
