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A question to the LGBTQ+ community

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cute_fish Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by cute_fish So, I'm not sure if this would make sense, but I've been questioning my sexuality for a while, and I used to consider myself as asexual, but now I'm starting to feel like I'm a lesbian. I'm really confused about it because I've had a few crushes on boys when I was little, still like some anime and movie boys but not real-life boys, and I'm having a lot of confusion on if I just like someone as a friend (because I've always been that kind of person who is extremely picky on friends, but once I have them, I have an extremely strong bond with them) or romantically. It was never something I really knew about when I was little and only started noticing it from when I learned about LGBTQ+ people, and I'm worried about it just being a phase, as it's just so sudden. And I'm also really scared about coming out, then later deciding that I was actually straight or another sexuality, and how people would react to that. I'm in a really confused state, and any help would be appreciated!
blahblah11 Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by blahblah11 I’m in the same position
OwObama Professional	3 years, 4 months ago by OwObama Finding a label for yourself is a journey. Sometimes as people grow up and get more experiences, they realize that a certain label doesn't work for them anymore, and they find a new one. It's totally ok to be confused about yours, and choosing labels for what fits you best at the time is a solid way to go. Remember that you don't HAVE to come out, so if you're worried about it or don't feel safe doing it, just don't! Feel free to think about it for as long as you want, no one is owed an explanation on what box you think you might fit into. For a long while, I thought I was bisexual, but as I was growing I was gravitating more towards asexual and panromantic. The bisexual label didn't work for me anymore, that doesn't mean it was a phase, it just means that I know more now than I did then. No one says that I'm appropriating a sexuality, or choosing the wrong label. I chose what I thought fit me best at the time. The community will be accepting of you whatever you are. Also, I think you should explore the idea of "alterous attraction" or "alterous love", since I feel like that might be a good descriptor for the feelings you have towards your friends. It's possible that you could be asexual, but romantically attracted to certain genders. Many asexual people have varying degrees of sexual attraction/desires, but lots still want a romantic relationship. It's a very broad spectrum. Again, don't feel pressured to land on a label right away! It's ok to not know where you fit or who you are right now, you're still learning and growing. I didn't have any label for a couple years, and I still haven't chosen any, and that's fine. You love who you love, and you don't need a quantifiable word for that. Even if you never figure it out, that's fine, but as you get older it will become clearer.
cute_fish Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by cute_fish @OwObama Thank you for all the tips! I'm glad to know that you can change your labels and that you don't even need to label yourself. And thank you for teaching me about Alterous Attraction! That actually does describe the feeling towards my friends really well 😊

Elise64 Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by Elise64 I’m not part of the lgbtq+ community/unlabeled (I might be part of it but for me I just feel too young to really know), but this is what I heard from someone else. if you wanted to be a doctor when you were little, but now you want to be an actress, you weren’t wrong when you were younger, it’s just what felt right at the time, and it’s the same with figuring out your label. If people support you when you first come out, then they should be able to support you if you come out again. I hope this helps (:
cute_fish Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by cute_fish @Elise64 Thank you! That analogy makes a lot of sense too!
ChaosZone Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by ChaosZone I agree with everyone else above. Finding yourself can be really hard, but you don't have to rush it! It is your decision to be you. If something feels right, whether or not you stay with it later, it is right in the moment. It's not a phase. Just because someone labeled themselves as Bisexual, but sometime later they labeled themselves as pansexual doesn't mean they were wrong the first time. (sometimes you can also be multiple different things at a time) If you just go with what feels good, then it is the right decision. Don't worry about your sexuality changing, because that just means you are learning more about yourself. And on the terms of coming out, if you aren't sure if you are in a safe place to do so, then that's fine. You don't have to tell anyone. But if you want to tell people, but you are worried abt what they will say if you come out again as smth different, you don't need to be. Because if they are accepting of you the first time, they will be accepting of you the second, third, or even fourth time. If they truly support you, then it will not matter to them if you need to come out more than once. Good luck! hope this helps you 👍 ❤️
cute_fish Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by cute_fish @ChaosZone Thank you! ❤️
roundcat Professional	3 years, 4 months ago by roundcat So I'm Nonbinary, Agender, Asexual, and Panromantic. If you were to ask me if I was completely sure about my identity, I would probably give you a 90% on the nonbinary, a 70% on the Agender, a 80% on the Asexual, and a 65% on the Panromantic. The truth is many of us in the LGBTQ+ community are in a constant state of flux with our identity, and it's not uncommon for someone to adopt, change or drop a label according to how they feel. It's part of the reason why there are so many labels under the Bi, Ace, and Nonbinary umbrellas. Self discovery is an everlasting journey for many of us.
catgoddess Skiller	3 years, 4 months ago by catgoddess I would start by looking up the definitions of the sexualities you think you might be, I did that and it really helped. You could also search for a list of all the sexualities and the definitions, and if you get one that explains how you feel, then YAY!!!! if not, that's ok! keep looking! I'm also questioning my sexuality, I think I'm omnisexual, but I'm not so sure, if u need help ask meeee 😊
-avarxse- Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by -avarxse- im bisexual (i do prefer women), genderfluid, and grayace, and finding your sexuality and gender is really hard. im not even sure im genderfluid, i mightve jumped to conclusions early, but its fine if i did, my gender identity can change. i would just recomend taking your time, and remember, you dont HAVE to put a label on yourself

cute_fish Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by cute_fish @roundcat @catgoddess @-avarxse- You guys are all too nice 😭 I didn't know that a person could have a combination of multiple sexualities and genders, or that you don't have to label yourself. Thank you!!!
ag_knots Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by ag_knots I am not lgbtq+ but I don't think a label is necessary, if you want to be stuck with a label go for it but I think you should like who you like 🙂 idk though.
Luna4 Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by Luna4 Very hard SAME. You might be a mix between bi and pan. I like anime boys, but like real life girls. I’m non binary so even if I did like just girls I wouldn’t be a lesbian. Currently.
Luna4 Bracelet King	3 years, 4 months ago by Luna4 Currently, I think I am kinda more bi/pan.* (sorry accidentally hit return)

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